Ridic-Useless Systems that We Haven’t Replaced

system-brokenYou and I will either hear about, get used by, or participate in these broken-ass systems on a daily basis. Most are subtle, while others are just so stupid/trivial that we’ve never really put much thought into them. Well, I DID! Although I didn’t write paragraphs about shit like the hap-hazard inconsistencies in English pronunciation or the remaining Blue Laws (or even anything remotely important for that matter), I’ve cobbled a decent list of incongruent annoyances about mundane life, as well as some wide-scale troubles that should probably be addressed. They actually make me mad the more I think about them…. so, in no particular order, I bring you 10 (and a half) RIDICULOUS SYSTEMS:

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Chart Fetish

chartNot to get in the habit of simply reposting material, I was directed towards some incredible charts that need to be shared. Philosophical commentary on mankind’s foibles? Check. Raw data graphs on popular trending? Check. Attractive, colorful layouts of simultaneously frivolous/crucial information? Check.
Graphophiles like me will be pleased.

Being a sucker for timelines, analysis, and interpretation, I swooned at the visul representation of things we know but may have needed proof for. Explosions sell movies, people lie about their height, the CD format is dying, and Old Folks are against gay marriage. Additionally, our military budget is huge, people are likely to have a Spring Break-up, there are a metric shit-ton of video games, and people’s Facebook statuses are constantly changing. ADDITIONALLY, vaccines are kicking ass, green-eyed black-haired people are uncommon, pumpkins don’t keep, and blogs have a surprising distribution amongst all ages. Check these out:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/charts-to-help-put-the-world-in-perspective

It doesn’t end there. If your appetite is whetted, check out the meticulously constructed entries in a steep web comic called XKCD. It’s easy to get lost for hours, so make certain to pace your experience. These are some of my favorites….

Money Chart:  http://xkcd.com/980/
Water Body Depth: http://xkcd.com/1040/
Character Proximity in Movies: http://xkcd.com/657/
Online Community Size Map: http://xkcd.com/802/
Optimal Tic Tac Toe Guide: http://xkcd.com/832/
Partisan Congress: http://xkcd.com/1127/

…. But THIS blog seems to have collected them all: http://halfblog.net/2013/01/22/infographics-of-xkcd/

“Monster Hunter [2] Freedom Unite” (VG)

cg36(Or “Monster Hunter Portable 2nd G” in Japan.) Branded with a bizarre string of Engrish, this game is centered around near-impossible, bland, and repetitive boss fights. But then why am I so utterly hooked?! My workflow goes something like this: mash the square button until I have collected all the plants/rocks from my Pokke farm, have my Felyne Chef dance while I scarf down a Frozen Apple Rib Roast, stock up on potions and paintballs, hunt down the monster, die in a frustrating way, rinse and repeat.

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Thank/Fuck You Laredo: Part 1- What Are You Looking At?

I was asked, pestered, frequently reminded [insert word of choice here] by my husband to write for his section on rants on this website. He says that it would be a good release for me to put it all on paper. Therapeutic release I suppose. Either that or he can only take so much about the rising costs of weddings, the ridiculous nature of the new “photographers” of our time or how people exist in their own worlds while existing in an even bigger world.  All he says is “You need to write about it.”  So here I am writing about it. I have a long list of things that need to be turned into an article but I’ll make my debut with this article about Laredo.  The town I grew up in, and for the most part grew up hating and waiting for the days till I was able to leave for college.

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Warm Bodies (Movie)

zombie-love-hmmmmIt would be easy to hear a brief paraphrasing of this movie and assume it was part of the deservedly-abhorred Twilight saga, only with zombies instead of angsty vamp-wolves. And in all honesty the plot isn’t that far off. Though that idea could very well be how this was pitched to a producer, the movie turns out to be anything but. With equal helpings of comedy, romance, and horror, Warm Bodies tells the classic story of boy becomes zombie, boy meets girl, boy eats girl’s boyfriend, boy falls in love with girl, girl stabs boy in the chest and runs away screaming. In short, you’ll be blindsided if you see this thing with any kind of preconceptions, Twilight or not.

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