1,000 Words





Strategic pillows make awkward parting gifts for motel housekeeping.



“Fortune Cookies”. This is neither.



Supersize me. And throw in honey mustard for the 6 piece toddler tenders.


Jean-Claude Van AdJean-Claude Van Ad Squat

An aging Jean-Claude Van Ad offers leering proctology exams after bemusement at his fiery hemorrhoid sharts.

I better give GoDaddy more dollars and personal info because this violating Yahoo banner doesn’t quite reach me.

Go get bronzed in a blaze started by your own anus you lumpy leather man-purse of a washed up B movie line speaker.

You’re likely capable of killing with one overly-splayed roundhouse kick but retain no appeal as a dilluted Schwarzenegger alternative.




Blame Buzzfeed. I can’t find the answer anywhere. I tried alpha-numeric substitution with Caesar ciphers, phone buttons, 1’s as slashes (for division), and considered athelete #s using “12” as a key. I even got an arena map. Now this shall haunt you.



There’s a metaphor in here. Somewhere.



He can’t “see” himself in the mirror, so I’m not sure how Dusty finally noticed
the planetary posters on the ceiling. Wonder what his cat-brain is thinking?



Fake fry at Whataburger gets me every time.



Handicapable…. of off-roading. Needs some spinners on this bee-yotch.



I’m intolerant, so this is a true workplace Demotivational. Dubious Healing Promotion.

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