5/31/2013: I heard an interesting comment today. If a person is a great athlete and is looking to go pro, they may pursue a sport that pays well, and not necessarily the one they’ve been training for or even enjoy. This means that since soccer is popular everywhere but the United States (for whatever reason), our kids may grow out of “real” football and into Americanized football which can net almost twice as much money. This reminds me of trained artists falling back on a tech support gig to stave off the bills.

5/30/2013: A “sugar pill” isn’t a placebo to those with diabetes.

5/29/2013: It’s easy to collect disparate “signs” from the internet and cobble together a case that predicts doomsday. Rivers running red, trumpeting geological sounds, and droves of washed up sea animals are all compelling until you realize that we share weird stories GLOBALLY now. One could consider that leather companies dump red dye, the magnetic poles shift, the ocean is a handy refuse bin, and there’s a camera in every corner of the world now but that’s just crazy talk. It’s definitely the Rapture.

5/28/2013: The Earth has gone through about 20 [notable] mass extinctions in its existence, where volcanic activity, global warming, sea level recessions, or a meteor has caused 50-90% of all species to be eradicated, each time. Humans endure, I’m told, but our world is certainly not immune to change and our ways of life have to be appropriately versatile. Sustainable too. I look forward to a future where people realize how hostile this rock can be on its own without us carelessly altering our own destiny.

5/27/2013: Why do I have monday off again? Oh yes, Memorial Day. A time to remember soldiers who fell in the line of duty, those who paid personal costs to safeguard our nation against its enemies (or natural resource interests). You know something that would honor our heroes? If we processed the stacks of claims made on war-related injuries or helped their real world experiences translate to skills in the civilian job market. Or had America intended for them to die in foreign lands?

5/26/2013: Time travel is a fun musing. I mean, every media has a take on it and there are even scientific guesses on how it might work. Multiple dimensions, string theory, and more all complicate the universe to the point of circumstantial imaginings that baffle the rational brain, like trying to apply abstract math to reality. What seems more likely is “what you see is what you get”. Although people love to imagine parallels and ways to correct mistakes, I feel we have just “one shot” at this thing. Make it a good one.

5/25/2013: Is anyone else a disgusting human being? I literally nickname people I’ve never met, secretly calling them things when I see them at work. “Brunhelda” looks like a diminuitive gray witch. “Rose” has an unimaginably round gut constricted by a flowered muu muu. You’ve got “Cheney”, “The Zohan”, “French Sailor”, “Corpse Lady”, “Aging Rockstar”, “Fancy Walkin’ “, “Green Shirt”, “Ewok”, “Troll”, “Andy Dick”, “Ahmadinejad”, “Gumbo”, and “Botched Facelift”. Will Hell ever run out of space?

5/24/2013: Calling something “retarded” or “gay” should only be offensive if the word “nerdy” is too. “Cool” doesn’t mean cold and “bad” can be good, so colloquialisms just won’t make sense. The insults are super-juvenile but aren’t [normally] used against the handicapped or gays. Since I’ve heard, “I am NOT African-American. I’m Black and Proud.”, Political Correctness can exist for its own sake and benefit no one. If the goal is to defend human rights, berate the racist grandma and not the inarticulate fratboy.

5/23/2013: The words “scandal”, “corruption”, and “conspiracy” are used almost exclusively to describe the government, though these elements are common to all societal strata, especially businesses. Save for papal-trocities (a religious government of sorts), it doesn’t feel “right” to use these words to describe pay disparity, favoritism, and cronyism anywhere else. By this token, the suffix “-gate” gets tossed around a lot, almost as if some of us root for a Nixonian level of corruption in this administration….

5/22/2013: Adventure games had their fair shake over the years, but even with big names making shining epitomes of the respective gamestyle, Lucasarts and others simply couldn’t carve out a niche market with lasting power. Sam and Max, Back to the Future, Hotel Dusk, and more continue to fight the losing battle, the battle of “twitchy” graphical blockbusters overshadowing snappy dialogue and methodically-plotted, casual, brain teasers. The genre will endure, but it is perpetually in a state of “dying”.

5/21/2013: A real democracy would be a frightening thing, since the masses have strong belief over the frivolous and incite misinformational wars over the crucial. Most can’t handle personal finances, so putting the everyman “in charge” of a national economy spanning 3000 miles, or having a “down home” mom dictating foreign policy from the heartland of America is similar to the Palin nightmare. We merely have a “Democratic Republic”, one step removed, but elected reps STILL fuck it up.

5/20/2013: I blame society for getting what it wants, basically. People like quality, but they want it NOW. They occasionally ask for the depressing truth, but prefer shiny distractions. You have to realize that every product and service exists to cater to at least one idiot out there, and even pricing is socially susceptible. If they didn’t pay any ludicrous price, some things wouldn’t be so expensive. It’s a shame my values don’t match because power is certainly in the hands of the people…. But many don’t know it.

5/19/2013: Since it reflects what people desire, I’m dismayed to see a 5 minute “News” segment on what face Bieber’s ex-girlfriend supposedly made. Once-respected programs now share likeness with the IQ-raping TMZ, (whom should be gored by syphilitic pigs). In an age of instant communication, there’s no reason why self-gratifying fluff or an all-day disaster piece takes precedence over the worthy stories happening across the globe this very second. You get better info from headlines on theOnion.com

5/18/2013: I was feeling pretty down until I started thinking about how much better off I am than the millions of people who don’t have “first-world problems”. I started to re-appreciate the house and job I’ve wandered into because some simply don’t have either. But then I realized that I occupy these things, barring someone else from doing so. Someone is still stuck in a shitty apartment complex or incapable of pulling in this paycheck because I, myself, deny them access. That’s when I started to feel bad again.

5/17/2013: If we’re going to invade other countries based on actions perpetrated by a sub-culture of people, is it unreasonable for those invaded and NOT part of that sub-culture to harbor some kind of lasting resentment towards us? The American people share solidarity over explosive attacks where civilians are caught in the crossfire, which begets explosive attacks in other countries where civilians are caught in the crossfire. I see a cycle here. Our sense of vengeance is not unique, nor is it the most justified.

5/16/2013: Have I missed the point of Praying? If God has a plan, then how could there be deviations from that perfect plan? Why would humans assume that they could influence God’s mind? Is God up there going, “Well, I was planning to make Bill miserable, but too many people are against me doing that. You win, guys.” If it’s true that we simply can’t comprehend God’s plan, then why would we even attempt to change it? Isn’t that the ultimate form of Faith: to trust God to do whatever he wants?

5/15/2013: I think my biggest fear might be to have an arm or leg amputated. Not a meaningless life where my actions are hopelessly futile or to die unloved in a cardboard box, cowering in some moldy alley full of used baby diapers. Not even that our household appliances gain sentience and kill us in horrifically ironic ways a la Maximum Overdrive. Thinking about this makes me want to jog and play the drums, you know, so Karma doesn’t think I’m misusing my limbs or anything. Exercise will prove I do, right?

5/14/2013: I have way too many video games. In all honesty, I shouldn’t spend this much time planning how I’ll eventually beat each, like a woodchipper going through a pile of branches. With at least 20 unplayed games for each system I own (100+ for PC) and a preference for content-heavy RPGs, I’m in a sinkhole that may prove impossible to dig out of. My only salvation is that I abandon my favorite series after too many sequels and new systems don’t make good games for several years.

5/13/2013: Your daughter is not a princess. If your parents call you “Princess”, you are NOT a princess. Is this the psychological model we want our young to be molded into? “Royalty” makes Disney a buttload of cash but Arrogance, Selfishness, and an Overbearing Personality aren’t traits that generally fly well in society. I’m a 3rd party, sure, but teach your kids Humility and Sympathy and they’ll be happier, self aware, and more tolerable to be around. Get rid of the fucking tiara, please; you’re raising a bitch.

5/12/2013: Accents. I respect people who learn multiple languages (it’s more than my own dumb brain has accomplished), but people who don’t address their own audible quirks are needlessly difficult to communicate with. The lingual clicks and pops assault my ears like a chaingun firing bullets at times so if a person slows it down, especially over the phone, we’ll all benefit. Congratulations to this person for learning English, but when they cop an attitude once I ask for a repeat, they’re back on the Shitlist.

5/11/2013: Conspiracy theorists have their hearts in the right place. I mean, everyone should question what is simply handed to them, dig for the truth, and propogate the findings. That’s a kind of Scientific Method. Problem is: most don’t embrace truth when they see it. The Government is huge, so discarding the entire entity as “evil” is flawed. Theorists “analyze” a scheme without evidence instead of championing an actual cause with actual facts, otherwise they’d be Conspiracy “Activists”, I guess.

5/10/2013: That’s right. Go ahead and see what happens. Call me and then put me on hold. Call me and then muffle the phone to yell at your kid for a full minute. See if I wait. Call me and then ask, “Wait. Who is this?”. If I tell you, “Wrong Number”, I advise not to call my number again but feel free to try it anyways. Guaranteed that I’m having more fun hanging up than you are redialing. Maybe I should scrawl these offending numbers on a restroom stall along some lonely highway, next to a scribbled cock and swastika.

5/9/2013: I got cut in line at the post office, and berrated for mentioning it. What happened? Well, I was called to the counter and then advised to go back while the clerk searched for a package. A new arrival is in the “vicinity” of where I previously stood, so I gravitate. Eventually, he brushes past me and starts mouthing off about “tired of young people doing this”. He thought I had cut HIM but I let it go since his life is infinitely more pathetic if people steal his spot often. I rubbed stank on a parting comment, anyway.

5/8/2013: It’s increasingly harder to maintain behavior for the sake of principle. I mean, why should I suffer for others’ lack of responsibility? It’d be much easier to mimic the behavior I see on a daily basis. It may not be today or tomorrow or the next, but I’ll eventually buckle and start to run red lights, to litter, calling in sick for no reason at all, lying about taxes, shoplifting, and pissing all over a urinal. The world is here to please me right? I already honk a lot, so it looks like a slippery slope into Asshole-dom.

5/7/2013: So…. dissection. When you cut open a frogsicle in 7th grade, holding its skin flaps in place with pins, are told by the teacher to shove an eyedropper down its throat to “see how the lungs inflate”, and chuck the thing away after a mere hour of intense looking, THAT is all “educational” and necessary to your academics. But if a kid decides to do this outside of school, you have a red-flagged sociopath in the making. The actual frog suppliers don’t just discover dead frogs…. so what does that make them?

5/6/2013: Video games are posed with an interesting challenge: how to represent humans graphically. The choice is deceptively hard. Even though our computers have the capability of rendering realistic skin complete with pores, you’ll continue to see stylistic decisions including grossly oversized anatomy such as big hands or shoulders. Because games need to stand out, to be uniquely recognizable, our precepts of what we choose to represent ourselves with will likely turn more and more bizarre.

5/5/2013: You know that guy, the one who tries to be all smooth in giving a wadded bill to a service rep via handshake? I hate that guy. It’s not a magic trick. The founding principle of doing this is to COVERTLY tip a rep who may be monitored. Instead, the receiver unerringly holds up the bill because he is understandably surprised, and the tipper makes a big fucking show about how cool the “transfer” was. This process never goes down without a hitch, or the extended discussion entitled: “No, YOU take it.”

5/4/2013: God damn it. I can’t heat up my own pizza without burning the roof of my mouth! It’s impossible. The cheese has some infathomably deceptive internal temperature akin to molten iron, but occasionally allows for a frozen pizza center despite this. Worse yet, I attempted this feat two days in a row, resulting in crispy crust jabbing the fleshy soreness where the skin had sloughed off. Mmmm, molten cheese.

5/3/2013: Some would say that humans are completely different than animals, that we can boast architecture, art, music, and technology. I say that we merely scurry inside structures built by others, that like 1% of people have artistic ability beyond a simple gorilla painting, that even recording artists are too tone deaf to release a song without autotune, and that I personally couldn’t make a Ham Radio if you gave me the post-manufactured parts. Additionally, a metric shit-ton of species have opposable thumbs.

5/2/2013: What if error messages were more descriptive of the actual failure? Invalid Token and Invalid Credential mean nothing to your typical user trying to reset their password. “This email is bad. Get a new one”, or ,”This password has been used before”, are so much better than a string of incomprehensible jargon and numerals. It won’t apply to fatal errors and many Windows OS messages, but seriously.

5/1/2013: How does that phrase go? “April cold fronts bring May cold fronts?” If I hadn’t researched the shit out of global warming, I’d be in the same boat as the knuckle-draggers (“same boat” because the caps melted and we missed the Ark). It’s all quite basic, actually. Think of the poles like a giant Refrigerator Door left open. The kitchen provides the roaches with cheap air conditioning, but that milk is definitely going to spoil. Turns out that Costner’s Waterworld is underrated as a survival handbook.