Thoughts of the Month – April 2013

4/30/2013: Is it too terribly inconvenient to make public bathroom doors correctly? Don’t put a handle on it. That’s it. Have them swing, be non-existant, or have a “mini-maze” of sharp turns, but don’t make these bacteria amusement parks the focal point of entering and exiting the filthiest rooms in America. A 50 pound door with a pull-only latch guarantees you mash somebody’s gonad grease into your fingerprints.

4/29/2013: I hope it’s not just me that can space out while driving and suddenly find yourself in an unfamiliar part of town. That shit is scary when you stop to think about it. Normally you can blink through a routine trip, the mind knowing exactly where to go, the roteness of the turns being too boring to warrant full attention. But when that “process” fails and I can’t recall the exact moment it went wrong, it’s freaky. Damn night driving.

4/28/2013: I beat 3 video games start-to-finish, made a comic, hung out with the in-laws, ate at a few restaurants, cleaned house (twice kind of), and had enough time to get lost over the weekend. If I didn’t trust the faithful wall-clocks, I’d swear that some days have more hours than the previous. I suppose it helps when you inadvertantly miss out on hours of rest, my infurating inability to sleep in on Saturdays. 9:00. Sharp.

4/27/2013: A Thought a Day? How long until I start plagiarizing myself on hot-button issues? Do humans have 365 separate views on the world, 365 disparate topics? I can’t even name 365 people, so does that mean it’s easier to map a human brain than previously thought? Could you have off/on triggers in a computer program that, when flipped appropriately, represent a person through base desires for different subjects? Oh my god…. Like/Dislike…. Facebook is attempting to steal everyone’s identity!

4/26/2013: I have mixed feelings about groups like the Sea Shepherds. On the one hand, they’re the unofficial spokespeople of whales and like-minded individuals, NATO’s “wild card”, and a preserver of Earth’s balance through gray legislation. On the other, they’re fucking with people’s boats when rallying a cult following or closing the legal loopholes would be a better solution. Two wrongs don’t make a right, (but three “lefts” do). I guess when awareness posters fail, dirtying your hands is the only way.

4/25/2013: In everyday life, how much someone talks about something is proportional to how much they know about it, many times representing interest. In the Business world, however, the most knowledgable remain silent. They begrudgingly accept the futility of the unjaded discussion, secretly harboring contempt for the process and the impending failures borne of those meetings. In Business, the blabbers know nothing.

4/24/2013: There’s always that “one thing” that will bug the shit out of you. We’re never blissfull/complacent in our lives, that blissfullness possibly even becoming the “one thing” that drives us crazy, that the sheer ease of living could even become the very detractor to the effort. “Oh my life is great…. If only [insert petty requirement that didn’t exist until all major problems vanished].” I guess it could be good that we strive for improvement, but I feel that many can’t step back and appreciate their achievement.

4/23/2013: Everybody would love to believe that they are some enigmatic mystery that no one understands. In reality, we are fairly shallow and people are disturbingly alike. A representation of this is that there are two main competitors in every aspect of our lives: Republicans/Democrats, Coke/Pepsi, Dogs/Cats, PC/Mac, etc. Fringe options exist, but let’s just say that I’ve recognized faces of people I had never met before. Even our genetics aren’t terribly unique. You’ve probably even heard this paragraph before.

4/22/2013: If people wish to be “more” of something, they will adopt personalities to appear more successful, more fun, more confident. Flirtatiousness is a mask with a clear purpose, used to deny peeks through a gravity-well of undesirable boredom (or worse) but with a clear intention of getting into someone’s pants. It’s odd then that some people are constantly “flirtatious”, the habitual mask altering behavior beyond intention. Like a Twilight Zone episode, masks become us and even personalities are malleable.

4/21/2013: You can still haggle in the modern age, but not in TLC’s “Extreme Cheapskates” way. Instead of obstinately barking out demands or gripping the counter, refusing to budge until your tantrum is satiated, you can exploit the very ploys and buzz phrases they shout to make you shop in the first place. You can buy small now to get the coupon for a later, larger purchase. You can use competitor coupons, shop online, search for discount codes, and more. They use your patience against you.

4/20/2013: Funny what a good mattress can do for a person’s restfulness and lower back. I lost patience with an employee’s sales pitch and went outside to play the PSP in the car. Later, Suelynn saunters out after cutting a deal, our spines spared of the sloping, formless thing we used to crash on. I don’t understand why the norm isn’t a piece of plywood with a foam top, but the current standard of living will have to do. A far cry from “roughing it”, this makes me wonder what primitive men laid their heads on.

4/19/2013: I have a lot of trouble listening to attempts to humanize terrorists. A person could have been a saint, volunteering at a crippled pet orphanage for all I care. Once that person plants a bomb on a crowded street, resulting in loss of life and limb, that event defines them as a monster, and no amount of reminiscing about times when they did not reveal themselves as such will change that truth. Nobody “failed” them. They are a cancer to be excised for the continuation of civilization. Grab the scalpel. Cut it out.

4/18/2013: I pity the ignorant saps who get suckered by spam mail. I mean, there HAVE to be saps for it to exist right? I’d hate to think that I sort through buckets of ridiculously worded scams, many with compelling titles like “side effects of tramodol” and “sdkjxlclvudydlllxkvj”, and there be no point to any of it, no click-happy schmucks following dubious links. Like the bulk I get from USPS, these ill-conceived wastes of someone’s time (not mine) get dumped. Just wish I could black out and redeposit spam.

4/17/2013: Hey, News Organizations: STOP. DESCRIBING. BOMB TYPES. I’ve inadvertantly learned more about explosive materials in 15 minutes of NPR than my life’s collective knowledge. Don’t tell us what goes into them. Don’t tell us where they go wrong. Don’t even tell us what products aren’t tracked by the FBI consumer database. Just like the despicable media that scrambles to pioneer the release of un-factchecked info, TOO MUCH info should get you banned. You’re going to kill somebody, fucktards.

4/16/2013: I heard the news in the middle of writing my article on Nuclear bombs. With “only” two dead, the Boston Marathon tragedy still hits me with the impact of personal loss. I’m not certain if it’s the unexpectedness of linking a mere footrace to terrorism, or the fact that these demented minds persist, but it’s a tremendous blow to my emotions. I can care so little for people, even priding myself on doing so, but I at least respect their rights to exist. Anonymous civilian deaths are unacceptable, no matter the perpetrator.

4/15/2013: I’m for formal education but there’s a limit on how early you should start teaching kids. My own job and Obama’s proposition brings this subject into a new clarity for me. I believe kids have a natural curiosity about the world, but you can inadvertantly stamp out their childhood through adult expectations. On that note, the more educated a population is, the higher the standards/competition. Our country is needlessly dumb, don’t get me wrong, but is our ultimate goal for McDonald’s to require College Degrees?

4/14/2013: I started thinking about the content of the games I enjoy, and the concept of economic simulators confused me. The visceral need of violence and shooters seems evident. Fighters and action fall in line with that argument; strategy, conquest, and exploration are an outlet for many adventure-seekers. But when the core gameplay is setting up trade routes and min/maxing abstract spreadsheets…. Well I guess the human desire for efficiency and balance is just that powerful. I’m such a big nerd.

4/13/2013: Cats and babies seem to explore the world in the same manner: Everything goes right in the mouth. How this all-consuming behavior benefits a critter, I have no idea, but I suppose it’s informative about what is and isn’t palatable. Dusty spent the weekend horking up whatever it was he gobbled off the ground. Since he ate carpet, weeds, and dog food, it would be difficult to determine the ultimate culprit. Humans have a broad diet including animal fetuses and cow excretions, and now I know why.

4/12/2013: I’m a kleptomaniac packrat. Not in real life, but in the games I play. My RPG characters become stiflingly overburdened at all times, tens of HOURS spent managing what I’m currently holding and what’s in my storerooms. Realism? Not really. It’s silly that I can fight gracefully with 300 pounds of axes strapped to my back so can we just increase the Silliness Ceiling to a few tons, if only to spare some OCD time-wasting? It’s bad enough that I calculate value divided by weight before I pick anything up.

4/11/2013: The return to the bartering system is an unexpected development, the faith in green paper replaced by “Bitcoins” or tangible services offered up on Craigslist. Admittedly, the “official” system has gotten pretty abstract and arbitrary (what with the decline of the gold standard, the FED, international markets, and others), so it’s strangely refreshing to see people trading stuff for something other than liquidated assets. Wait until the W2s wind up with goats, mattressess, and Internet Creditz fields.

4/10/2013: Religion does a great job of making people feel like outsiders. For an institution supposedly founded on love and brotherhood, they often tack a price on that olive branch. Whether I’m ambushed by someone I open a door for or forced to overhear a 10-person waiting room prayer session or if I’m simply listening to Matisyahu, religion comes off stronger and in-my-face than I’d like. Coexistence occurs, but you have to be a card-carrying member to not be seen as an inferior heathen.

4/9/2013: There are people who exist only to thrive on feeling important. If they aren’t busy with their own legitimately complex schedule, they can be seen stirring up shit for others. They will literally cause problems or harp on inanities just to give themselves the impression that they are accomplishing something, making a “difference”. The difference being that everyone around them spontaneously turns miserable.

4/8/2013: I stumbled across a scale reproduction of the mythical lands of Westeros built entirely out of Minecraft blocks. They even have a Google Earth type map as proof…. and yes, every city and landmass is all there. is certainly impressive but though it is a collaborative effort, one must wonder at the driving force behind the ambitions of people in general. “To each his own”, certainly, but it begs the question of what life is really about and how one man’s goals are more worthy than the next.

4/7/2013: Why are we STILL discussing Roe Vs. Wade? Bearing children demands a huge cost on a woman’s body and livelihood, much less the emotional/financial cost it takes to raise a kid. It’s a life-changer and condoms don’t always work, so it shouldn’t be left to “fate” to decide whose time it is to be a parent. That indistinguishable zygote can’t think or feel pain, but women can. The real argument is the hypothetical life that the infant could potentially lead vs. the woman’s actual life that a child could destroy.

4/6/2013: I’m not hating on the actual sport, but watching a game of golf has to be one of the most mind-numbingly dull things out there.Every 1 in 50 shots in a professional match is truly impressive but I’ve never been big on spectating anything, much less a lazy game where old men putter about in their best plaid outfits. The average golfer is a complete douche anyways. Source? I cashiered at a golf store. RTS tournaments FTW.

4/5/2013: Most plastic surgery cases are just so painfully obvious that I can’t imagine anyone falling for the “disguise”, or that the recipient is ever truly comfortable with what they paid to be. Like a misspelled tattoo, it undoubtedly dupes a few people (especially with make-up and no natural lighting) but the amount of disillusion required to overlook the angles, lumps, and textures is beyond my capacity. Looking into Facework? Don’t.

4/4/2013: Could you go the rest of your life under a different name? Would there always be some part of you screaming “FALSE” as you presented yourself to people? How long would it take to respond naturally to the new title, and how much angst or stress would be generated by the association with it? Would it ever feel “right”?

4/3/2013: It’s odd how tastes can change. 15 years ago, a much younger me would have turned his nose up at the guttural utterances of Death Metal. A younger me would have also held his nose while downing a beer instead of savoring the flavor. These specific experiences seem less dependent on transient world-views and moreso on sensory input. By that token, the grizzled Me seems capable of digging deeper to find intrinsic value. But then why can I stomach Lady Gaga and Kool-Aid pouches?….

4/2/2013: It boggles the mind that we don’t have more automotive accidents than we do. I mean, with two-ton compilations of glass, gasoline, and metal flying down a cobbled matrix of narrow streets, piloted by the inexperienced, the infirm, the occupied, the impatient or lazy, I am floored that you don’t see more teens in fender benders or more middle-aged men with their ‘vettes wrapped around light poles. Go us?

4/1/2013: Be wary of rampant lies today. If you’re caught off guard, even for a second, some dumbshit will be screaming “APRIL FOOLS” in your face. Douche-baggery isn’t only encouraged, it’s officially endorsed by a national fuckin’ holiday. Like pinching during St. Patty’s, I miss the point of intentionally feeding outrageous volumes of misinformation to the public. This is how the War of the Worlds radio fiasco started.

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