Learning a Foreign Language

Learning a Foreign LanguageI’ve found that, similar to musical instruments and Fighting games, owning books on how to do things doesn’t magically bestow the ability. I’ve put a mild effort towards learning Spanish for a little over a decade now, but easily lost what little I had gained even quicker than the time it took to acquire it. Who knew that work and effort was intrinsic to this process in lieu of schemes and money? Screw you Rosetta Stone and 10-day Spanish!

Instead of blowing a few hundred dollars on software and books, might I suggest just a few dollars to be spent for software and books that you are destined to be equally frustrated and dismayed by? Half Price Books has a decent variety of bargain bin cheapness in the form of audio CDs, software, and guides that you won’t feel guilty for abandoning when times get rough. And they will get rough. After the initial stuff, once it lulls you into a false sense of lingual security and you “pffft” at the elementary nature of the elementary-level learnin’, you’ll easily be dwarved by the rules and complexity as the situation escalates beyond your immediate means. Funny enough, English seems to have more stipulations and quirky rules than a lot of older languages, but the mental difficulty scales as you age. At least with Spanish, the pronunciation of syllables are consistent and the words even have visual queues on where to place the emphasis, a road map to at least pronouncing the thing correctly. Pity the English learners! They have their work cut out for them through all manner of hypocritical and arbitrary grammatical rules in conjunction with scattershot spelling idiosynchrasies! That being said, I feel a bit ashamed that I took three or more years of Spanish before college, yet can only retain the curse words and a profound ability to translate the suffix in easy ones like Information becoming Informacion’.

To my chagrin, Immersion is the only real tool for retention. I’ve heard that you Learn something after hearing it three times, but this is bullshit of course.Three times a week, maybe, but the brain is very efficient about uncluttering our mental workspace. If you don’t use it, you lose it, since important items for everyday functionality float to the top while everything else lies buried. This is why you can only PERCEIVE like 10% of all visual/audio/feel/taste/smell sensory stimulants at any given time and you actually remember even less of the real-time subjection to everyday stimuli. Therefore you have to trick your mind into thinking this stuff is important, even if you’re doing it merely as a diversion or in preparation for a future vacation in which you don’t want to piss yourself while querying the local law enforcement for the location of a public restroom. A quick word of advice would be to learn in order of usefulness if at all possible….

I believe the biggest obstacle, however, is in attaching meaning to these words instead of simply viewing it as a Translation of the language you already know. If you have to constantly convert a sentence into your native tongue, there will always be that disconnect between you and the understanding, or in the very least a large delay in casual conversation. In Spanish, I’ve made great efforts to Personalize meaning, or at least come up with some sort of relevance as to why the words mean what they mean. My sister-in-law is a Lawyer, so the word ‘Abogado’ gets a special association with her and becomes that much easier. But let’s admit it: Most euphemisms and words aren’t special nor do they make sense on the surface, and if you don’t explore their roots and usage, you may never draw the connection. For example, the English word reckless is kind of weird. It appears to indicate something to the effect of “without wrecking”, a positive, whereas the literal meaning is nearly the opposite: without heed or carelessness. A convention for thinking of this might be “unLESS you wRECK” but your mileage may vary. Similarly, “A stitch in time saves nine.” may be an adage on its way out of common speak, but it’s just weirdly appropriate enough to be relevant. If you realize that it’s a classic sewing metaphor saying that a tear in fabric gets bigger without attention, the usage of the phrase becomes evident. Similarly, foreign languages have their own tricks and qualities that become intuitive if you explore the cultural anecdotes or even make up your own for memory’s sake. Once you realize that whole sentences get shortened for efficiency, no matter the culture, a language becomes that much more apparent. You can’t speak what you don’t understand, after all. Hell, even English speakers say “I could care less.” in the wrong context, which doesn’t make a ‘lick of sense’ if you think about it.

There’s nothing better than having access to a true native speaker but in the absence of a coach, discerning the details between word choices and arrangement may pose a real problem. I ended up feeling like I was choosing sides because of the regional differences between Castillian (Spain) Spanish, Mexican Spanish, and Tex-Mex, some words of which I was told I’d be laughed at if I used them in front of the wrong speaker. You may soon find yourself irritated that the Google Translation doesn’t match the book which doesn’t match your coach which doesn’t match your “urban” friend’s version of the meaning you are trying to convey, in increasingly desperate degrees of frustration. In these scenarios, debating over the finer points of a language you are just starting is probably best left for a later date. Colloquialisms and regionalisms can easily ruin your understanding and frazzle your nerves quite quickly. At some point, a cruel decision may be thrust upon you of whether to learn the “proper” way to speak, or to adopt the manner that will blend you more easily with the locals. Principle vs. practice.

Frequent review of your study sets is recommended, as it is never a bad time to brush up on your initial lessons; you can’t be too fluent, afterall. I personally tend to get nouns quickly, but conjugating the verbs will lose me. In English, ‘To Run’ can be expressed as I will run, I ran, I’m running, I will have run…. but the system differs slightly in Spanish’s approach. In Spanish, it is comprised of past/present/future conjugations (and more) of whether or not it’s another person, a group of people, a collection including yourself, the person you’re speaking to, etc. doing the running! Recognizing and accepting the differences are the only way to make it out alive, embracing what you’re struggling with and self-catering your lessons to bolster your weak points. Making it interesting and fun might be the saving grace. One of my flash cards says “Se me cayó el cuchillo cuando el oso atacó.” (I dropped my knife when the bear attacked.)

So how do you know when you’re making progress? It hits you in a sudden and exciting realization when you first accidentally eavesdrop on a family in a restaurant. When the language no longer sounds like the garbled yelps of a drowning man, when you start to discern a spotty coherence of words that you can arrange into meaning, that’s when you know your efforts are paying off. In fact I encourage this: go intrude on other people’s privacy to make yourself feel better! In any case, this feeling gives me just enough fuel to get back at the books and try even harder, accepting the mind’s resistance with tangible results. An old friend once told me that when you pass a certain barrier, you may even dream in the language you’re studying, a sure-fire way to tell if you’re becoming bilingual. This has yet to be verified, but the menus are becoming easier to read.

All in all, learning another language is a worthy pursuit and will easily separate one from the typical American mentality of having all peoples adopting the United States’ ways and customs. It takes a certain consideration and humility to even attempt such a feat, but it is, in fact, what countless children across different nations are doing at this very second. Deciphering a language feels like breaking a code, becoming privy to a secret club that you never knew you wanted to join. As long as you don’t stress the small stuff and remember why you started the journey in the first place the practice of writing flash cards, chattering with your significant other, and seeing the world from a different language/viewpoint can be pretty fun. Even if I don’t ever grasp the fundamentals and my brain eventually turns to mush, thus losing all of my careful articulations and frases, I finally learned to roll my R’s like in the Ruffles commercial…. though my gritos could use some work.

AY-YA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAA!!

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