Thoughts of the Month – March 2013

3/31/2013: Being both Pro-Gun and Anti-Abortion is an oxymoronic dichotomy that I will never truly understand. This boils down to staunchly defending the right for all life to exist, coupled with the personal right to deal death via bullet. If your executive judgment to extinguish a life with a gun is self-evident, how is it not a woman’s right to extinguish a cellular growth that they may not be prepared to raise and cultivate? If Life was so inherently important, why don’t beanbag-shots and rubber bullet sales skyrocket?

3/30/2013: I had a colleague tell me that I couldn’t bitch about a video game ending because it wasn’t my intellectual property. I didn’t own it, therefore my thoughts shouldn’t have much bearing on how the company writes their narrative. While this is partly true, mainly the relatively indirect influence on business decisions, I feel that the fans’ voices are important. A lot of complaining is born from love of the mishandled subject material and an interest in bettering the product, not arbitrary fanboy arguing.

3/29/2013: It’s weird how appearance is linked to productivity, at least by perception. Being a “professional” means contrasting things to people, but I’m not one to be swayed by hair and slacks. In fact, if a person looks a little TOO clean I immediately tend to be on guard. Doctors and such should be held to immaculate standards, of course, but I’ve been burned by service with a smile and have been wowed by slovenly representatives. Do you ever wonder what tech support is wearing when you call?….

3/28/2013: Bucket Lists are a strange concept to me. In general, they include things of limited personal experience like visiting an exotic place vs. leaving some sort of tangible legacy. Regardless if an afterlife is real or not, you probably wouldn’t care about this last hurrah once you’re dead. The process is akin to planning one’s life, but seemingly includes a twinge of insatiable boredom. If life isn’t fulfilling enough, how will these final things provide comfort? Lifelong goals are one thing, but lists seem completely different.

3/27/2013: It’s nitpicky, but I get pissed when people start throwing the phrase “flat-screen tv” around. Not only does this describe a BROAD range of televisions from DLP, LCD, Plasma, LED and more, but I can’t remember the last time I saw a curved-screened Cathode Ray Tube (the heavy/bulky/boxy one). Furthermore, CRTs have been known to come in flat-screened versions, thus negating any differentiation. If you own a CRT, you hate your eyes. Upgrade. Walmart has giant LED tvs for like $200.

3/26/2013: The create-to-consume ratio in regards to time is typically high for food and other products given the lengthy growth/collection/assembly, but this is especially true for the arts. It’s so easy to dismiss the results of someone’s toils as “not good” but I have to remind myself to give pause, to slow the world down a bit and shake loose what a morass of over-saturation and drive-by advertising has done to me. Artists spend countless hours on their craft, only to have it accepted or rejected in seconds.

3/25/2013: I must continuously relearn that I can’t grasp the difference between “Irony” and “Coincidence”. By definition, Irony is “incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result”. This makes me believe that the argument rests entirely on the lodestone of how abnormal or bizarre a person’s expectations are. The subtleties might drive lesser men insane. (This dilemma ranks up there with some sources redefining “literally” for this generation’s plebeians.)

3/24/2013: Biology is disgusting. Saliva, urine, feces, flakes, snot, hair, tears, blood, earwax, semen, sweat, bile, vomit, and fingernails. Our excretions are excruciatingly present/unpleasant. Yours. Ours. Other people’s. I’ve heard that it takes 7 years for the total amount of cells in you to die and cycle, leaving us with basically a new body after our human “leavings” slough off and blanket the planet in dust/debris. You are what you eat and you live in what you are. (Do we “eat” what we “live”?)

3/23/2013: Sometimes I wonder just how close we are to achieving a perfect society. Not “perfection” in the utopian sense, but the cynical “as good as it gets” sense. You look at sluggish bureacracies, but realize that they’re pretty much working as designed. You look at human liberties and realize that we can [mostly] do whatever we fucking want. There’ll never be 100% population above the poverty line (it’s all relative) and we’ll never be without conflict. Human inclinations are what keep us from True Utopia.

3/22/2013: So you can’t get a Mogwai wet or feed him after dark? Those arbitrary rules are nearly impossible. Humidity alone would ruin your day. The only safe bet is to keep them in one of those salt-caverns that they store important documents in. Cut a hole in the roof and toss in some dry food…. or does the cavern’s lack of light count as “after dark”. Geez. If these things actually existed, we’d be so screwed. Burn ALL teh Furbyz!

3/21/2013: They expect me to believe that there is no legal way to force compromise between politicians? What exactly do we pay them for? Every scenario lately plays out like a game of “chicken” between Mack semis…. By the time they WANT to stop, the momentum sends them careening into a headlong collision. Here’s an idea! Compromise: we’ll give part of a thing that a Republican wants in exchange for a part of a thing that a Democrat wants. Boom. “Unwanted” crisis averted. Lazy, senile, seniors.

3/20/2013: According to Star Wars lore, lightsabers are feather-weight blades that give off little heat and can cut straight through most substances. This makes it an unwieldly, certainly unbalanced, instrument of destruction that would be nearly impossible for a traditional swordsman to wield. You obviously couldn’t train with it and the risk of lopping off your own leg in the midst of a “practical” duel is way too high, due to the lack of resistance or heft in the weapon. Maybe one would be better suited for construction?

3/19/2013: I’m ashamed to feed her celebrity, but The Honey Boo Boo and her porcine mother are slurring bloatflies that need to be euthanized. What began as tongue-in-cheek “whistle-blowing” of Toddlers in Tiaras has devolved into mindless wallowing. I beseech the public: find your entertainment elsewhere, to encourage TLC to return to education. The Boo Boos glorify nothing, only to make lesser parenting fails feel superior to something, anything. Or maybe the viewers relate? I mean, WTF do I know?

3/18/2013: I shudder to think of the consequences if the world was filled with talking animals. Not only would we have civil war on our hands (from PETA, not the critters), but there would also be a whole new level of uncomfortability. (I know what animals have SEEN.) Espionage possibilities would blossom, owning “room-mates” would decline, and the cost/quality of pet food would skyrocket. Strangely, I believe the interweb’s unhealthy fascination with cats would probably stay about the same.

3/17/2013: “Screw” is by far the worst fucking music that I have heard in my life. Period. My first exposure was in Houston. I heard this bass-y droning coming down the street and had assumed it was just the natural distortion caused by approaching soundwaves. Nope. I could fathom why people like most hip-hop, but if you take those same catchy beats and cut the speed in half, you get unadulturated shit. Screw that.

3/16/2013: I have trouble imagining tramp-stamped old people listening to rap, acting all raunchy, taking selfies for their Facebook page, and wearing skinny jeans tucked into their boots…. but isn’t that what will happen when this generation ages?

3/15/2013: High expectations are the quickest way to get disappointed. If you constantly think something shitty will happen, you’ll [mostly] be pleasantly surprised. The difficulty is in not voicing this “prediction” because every group has that asshole who rubs in how wrong you were/are for eternity; plus nobody wants to hang with a wet blanket anyways. Remember to smile when the results are in your favor. Pessimism isn’t all bad.

3/14/2013: Ah, Daylight Savings Time. It’s been long enough to forget how much I hate you. Thanks for blinding my eyes as I try to sleep in, for inducing a mandatory jet-lag, and for reminding me that I don’t have an exhaustive list of my devices with clocks. You’re a useless/antiquated concept. What if we all had unified clocks/calendars that documented TIME instead of LIGHT? Our globe persistently straddles two different “days”, though we all experience the exact same moment at the exact same time.

3/13/2013: Whether or not Dolphins are self-aware, whether or not they call each other by a distinct “name”, whether or not they commit suicide due to being depressed of captivity…. they’re still the second smartest creature on the planet. Humans are the ones that contain themselves within cubicles and vehicles and apartments while our flippered friends have the entire ocean to call Home, to swim and play and do Dolphiny-stuff in. We probably shouldn’t cage animals in general, but especially not this one.

3/12/2013: I believe in free-market enterprise, but our Healthcare system could be improved. Supposedly, providers don’t make “unsafe bets” on people who actually need the help, which is the exact opposite of some industry’s risky business models. I get the concept of For-Profit, but Sans-Humanity could also be associated with that line of thinking. Do we slash restrictions on existing coverage OR should America foot the bill? If so, would the country become more health-conscious in order to lower the cost?

3/11/2013: The lower the pay, the harder the work. Performance doesn’t open doors since who you know is at least twice as important. Focus on your social skills if you want to climb that ladder, not on becoming efficient or productive at your actual job. If you’re good at what you do and no one likes you, they’ll just cram more into your inbox.

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